If only…All My Exes Lived in Texas

Co-Parenting.  Anyone who does in effectively and without contempt deserves A LOT of credit.  I feel like as the months/years go by it only gets to be more difficult.  Granted, every situation is unique.  Others are at a fierce point when they begin the process and find their way to a better place.  I feel as if we started in a great place and have moved in a backward direction.  As I have mentioned I have four children ranging in age from 7-14.  This means my interaction level with my Ex is on a daily basis.

I’m very envious of my fiances circumstance.  His children are grown, 22 and 25. He doesn’t have to see, hear or know anything about his ex.  She may as well live in Texas with the amount of interaction they have.  Grandchildren’s birthday parties are pretty much the extent of their encounters.  I, on the other hand, have to interact with mine on a daily basis.  This is excrutiating on many levels.  First of all, we know each others schedules.  We share a calendar for God’s sake!  Rarely a day goes by we don’t have to have an exchange of some sort.  A game, a parent teacher conference, a concert, doctor’s appointment.  While these sound like things that maybe happen once a week…when you have 4 children they happen nearly every night.

Because of habit and proximity you feel as if you are entitled to an opinion about their life.  Because let’s face it…you are in it…daily.  I understand I resigned that right when I signed the papers in my dissolution but it doesn’t make it any easier.  I wish he lived far away and I had zero contact with him.  I didn’t have to rely on him in order to make plans because I never know when he is going to show up.  It’s funny how someone who is so absent for the majority of your married life all the sudden ends up being so much a part of your day.

While I don’t promote people “staying married for the kids”.  (That’s a great example, to show an unhappy couple as their role model for marriage and then when they are about to get married themselves split and say well, it was all a farce….sorry!) I will say if there is a reason to stay together it is the coparenting aspect.  It takes a high level of emotional intelligence on both parts to handle it.

P.S. I’m open to moving to Texas.  Please send me job postings.  LOL

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